Schedule a slice of apple-pie wholesomeness into the glut of depravity that's otherwise sure to fill your Spring Bank Holiday weekend, and head along to Clapham Common's A Country Affair. Bringing the rural charm of the countryside to the city (and conveniently leaving behind twitchy cattle, lack of mobile reception and knee-deep mud), the three-day fair offers an array of time-honoured activities, from sheep shearing and hen racing to archery and Morris dancing. There's even a "village inn" on-site for a tipple or two, with a medley of live music neatly augmenting the merrymaking.